


Everything's Going To Be Fine Again

by hollo



Series: Pavor Nocturnus: A Voltron Horror Anthology [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Crush, Blood and Gore, Creepy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gore, Isolation, Kissing, M/M, Psychological Trauma, but then it's not, it's a thing, it's cute, keith can't navigate emotions, keith pov, lance invades personal spaces, no really it's cute it's really cute, odd homecoming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:06:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollo/pseuds/hollo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long separation the paladins are back in the castle, but a month's long wait to be rescued, a month of isolation and seclusion, can leave it's mark. Keith is more than happy to be back, and could possibly say the same about the fact that Lance has become much more familiar with him ever since they'd returned, but there is something stirring under the surface. Things are not what they seem, and the effects of the separation are greater than he could ever had expected...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything's Going To Be Fine Again

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: There is gore (eventually) and blood. I think that is important to mention.  
> If you want to avoid the gore and leave this story feeling happy (relatively speaking) and imagine your own ending, I suggest you stop reading after the words: “...heartbeat in his ear, and allowed himself to relax.” and do not move on to “When he woke…”  
> I don’t like ruining stories (not that I think it ruins the story, per se) for people but I think in this case it’s necessary. Because even if I don’t know you I love you and want you to avoid things that may cause you discomfort.
> 
> For the rest of you, I'm not sorry. Not one bit.
> 
> What can I say? This ended up being cute… until it wasn't...
> 
> P.s. you can find me on tumblr if you'd like at itdetachable.tumblr.com
> 
> Like horror in your Voltron? Want more of it? Keep an eye out on my [writing tumblr](https://hollowrites.tumblr.com) for updates on my pet project, the Voltron Horror Collection!

It had been nearly a month since they'd all been together. The corrupted wormhole had scattered the paladins far across the reaches of space, to places so distant even the castle’s sensors had difficulty finding them. The corruption had affected the castle itself as well, damaging the systems badly enough that Allura and Coran were forced to work around the clock to get the castle back into working order. The wormhole generator was corrupted and wormholes couldn’t be opened until that was fixed, and wormholes couldn't be used until they could pinpoint the lion’s locations, and the lion’s locations couldn't be pinpointed until the castle's sensors were back in working order. Adding to that, any communication with the castle was affected by the damage, videos often full of distortion and static, the audio often garbled and unintelligible.

Keith understood that repairs, and rescue, would take time. Still, he hadn't expected it to take quite this long. Days passed, and weeks, and still he floated with the dark of space surrounding him. Worse yet, after his battle with Zarkon his lion was damaged beyond his capabilities to repair. His travel options were limited, and it was something of a miracle he'd emerged near enough a stable solar system, one with a habitable planet to boot. The native life wasn't evolved enough nor intelligent enough to have reached technological advancements, but it was unfortunately dangerous enough that even with the lion, he didn't dare spend longer than few hours at a time on its surface. Still, he had the option of landing when space became too vast and too all-encompassing, going someplace where his surroundings were so much smaller and closer and tangible. And at the very least, he’d ended up in an area where it seemed the Galra empire hadn’t extended it’s reach to yet. He counted himself lucky - both Lance and Hunk had spent their first few days dodging the reach of Galra patrols before they’d been able to find safety.

Space was still out there, however, dark and vast and constant. And within the confines of his lion’s limited reach, he was absolutely and utterly alone.

His only solace within the solitude and the darkness and the stressful drops planetside was in the connections with the other paladins. The lions seemed to have private channels connecting each other, allowing for clear communication between them, and they used them whenever they could. They might have been separated by distance, but at least they were able to speak to each other, to see each other, to encourage one another and to sympathize and to advise. Even apart, they had some way of maintaining contact with each other.

And Keith needed that. Alone within the vastness of space, his connection with the others was the only thing keeping the looming threat of isolation-induced terror from dragging him down. He'd never liked loneliness, had never grown used to solitude. He was often marked as rebellious in the garrison, labeled a loner, told he wasn't good at working with others, told he lacked the social skills to participate on a team properly. It had grated on him then, how others seemed to think they knew him so well when they didn’t know him at all.

He despised loneliness, he craved _connection_ \- but at the same time he was so horrible at forging it. He'd never had a lack of acquaintances; surface level familiarity was something he excelled at outside of a classroom setting. Sure, he could be rash and he could be a jerk, but he could also be personable when he wanted to. Surface level familiarity was all he'd ever had, however, and anytime the threat of friendship had risen he'd find himself withdrawing from it, unable to explain why but unable to keep himself from running. The emotional distance between himself and others was like a chasm he couldn't find a way to cross.

And maybe that's why, when before he might've despised loneliness but tolerated it, it now frightened him to his very core. Because he was part of a team now, forced into communication and existence with several others and forced to place his trust in them as they placed theirs in him. It was an odd sort of connection, but it was real and it made him feel like he belonged. It made him feel real.

Losing it meant losing himself as well.

 

-

 

Eventually the castle’s sensors were repaired enough to start tracking the lions down. One by one, the paladins were found and drawn back into its safe confines. Keith could only watch as each was recovered, the connection between his lion and theirs fading into static as they were brought on board the castle and it’s still-corrupted systems. Allura and Coran were doing their best, and once Pidge got on board they were able to get transmissions through clearly more often than not, but Keith still ended his days frustrated. With each person recovered his contacts with them grew fewer, and his loneliness grew. Pidge had been recovered first, their connection shorting out once they docked. Shiro was next - and that hurt. Keith relied on Shiro more than he’d ever admit, and losing his calm presence was a blow he was still reeling from. Hunk had been the latest to be located, a fact that Lance bemoaned loudly and profusely for at least a day afterwards, connecting back to Keith each time he closed out the video feed out of frustration.

He could’ve blocked Lance completely, of course, but the thought barely crossed his mind before he’d rejected it. Given the choice, he would’ve picked anyone other than Lance to be the one he’d be stuck for however many more days with - but secretly he was glad it hadn’t been a choice.

Because Lance was _interesting_ ; he was animated, he came up with idiotic ideas and theories that he could spend hours talking about, and he was devoted to competing with Keith which meant there were multiple opportunities where Keith could piss him off in order to entertain himself. All those things also mean Lance was insufferably irritating and that Keith spent just as much time ready to pull his hair out because he was too far away to hit the idiot that was pissing him off, but he was grateful for it anyways.

Grateful, because Keith found himself unable to deny it any longer - _he liked Lance_. He liked the way Lance irritated him, he liked the way he talked when he got excited, he liked the way he moved and he liked the way he looked and he…

...he liked Lance.

It had crept up on him, this feeling, this infatuation. He’d barely paid the other guy any attention back in the garrison, but forced to actually spend time with him once they’d left earth he found himself inevitably being drawn to him. He’d tried to find reason why, _why_ , he was finding himself spending time with Lance, why he was seeking out his company, why he was putting up with Lance’s inane chatter, why he kept harassing him and starting petty arguments and scraps when there really was no reason for it. He still hadn’t found it, he’d eventually given up on trying to figure it out because it didn’t seem he’d ever be able to. It was visceral, this feeling, it existed somewhere deep within him where he couldn’t find its source. It was terrifying, in a way, foreign - but he welcomed it all the same. There’d been a part of him that had wondered if he’d ever be able to _feel_ for someone else, to want to forge some sort of connection with them that went beyond even friendship. He’d always thought he wouldn’t - and finding himself proven wrong was a relief.

So he put up with Lance’s badgering, with his complaining. Hell, he even put up with Lance’s horrible off-key renditions of pop hits - the guy was a veritable _jukebox_ when he was bored - all accompanied with synthesized cords courtesy of Lance’s lion, despite how ridiculous they were and how they grated on his nerves after the seventh time around. Because this was Lance, this was Lance focused on _him_ , and because in a short enough time they’d be back on the castle again, back with the others, and Keith would be back to treading carefully around the daunting and uncertain emotion that pooled inside him whenever Lance was around. He couldn’t allow himself to betray his feelings on the castle, too much depended on them working as a team, without distractions or - and he hated to think about _this_ \- the threat of _division_. But trapped as they were, light years apart and connected only through the video calls, he allowed himself to indulge in enjoying the other guy’s company while he could.

 

Lately Lance had seemed off however, jittery and prone to sudden irrational outbursts. It had only been a couple of days, but Keith was beginning to worry. Sure, they’d been on their own for a while, and as far as he could tell Lance was nowhere near any friendly planets. Like him, Lance was cut off from communication with anyone other than the paladins (and now solely Keith) and the castle (and only when the connection was stable). They’d never actually been trained on solitary missions at the garrison, not at their level, so it was logical that the impact of their isolation would eventually start to take a toll on them. Still, Keith worried.

The castle shouldn't be too far behind in finding them, he’d remind himself each time he noticed something was off, each time he hopelessly attempted to gauge Lance’s mental state based solely on his reactions to jibes that had become practically routine in their interactions.

They’d be out of there soon. They’d be back to normal soon.

 

-

 

"Okay, okay so what's black and white and red all over?" Lance asked brightly, his grin only slightly wobbly. He’d been mostly okay that day, though that shakiness in his grin was putting Keith on edge. The fact that he was falling back into telling jokes didn’t help - the few times he had before this, they were all cringeworthy and bordering on uncomfortable. Keith couldn’t help but think that Lance telling jokes was something of a cry for help when the stress got too much for him to handle.

Lance was watching him expectantly, but Keith didn't respond immediately. He tried to read Lance's expression but wherever the other guy was he'd decided he needed to wear his helmet. Glare on the visor from some unknown source made it difficult for Keith to get a good look at his face aside from that grin, which was beginning to look more and more forced by the moment..

"I don't know, what?" Keith asked finally, in what he'd hoped was a suitably interested tone. Lance's odd behavior was taking a toll on him, it was taking all his mental strength to keep calm and controlled. While Keith usually had no problem with needling the other guy, Lance’s outburst the day before had bordered on hysterical. It was an experience Keith had no intention of repeating.

"It's, uh...it's..." Lance suddenly seemed to slow, his words suddenly wandering and slurring, as if he'd quite suddenly and sharply lost the ability to use language. His eyes wandered from Keith, focusing on some distant point. "tha...that's...I don't...I ...eh a.."

"Lance?" Keith ventured hesitantly.

"Wh...wha..." Lance shuddered suddenly. His head wobbled, tilting forward until his chin rested on his chest. Keith held his breath, expecting... He didn't know what. Lance was suddenly very quiet, and very still.

"Lance..." Keith said, but no response came. Concern grew, dark thoughts clouded his mind, and he called again, "Lance!"

"What?" Lance straightened just as suddenly as he'd quoted, eyes focusing somewhat blearily on Keith.

"What happened?"

"What happened?" Lance said, a look of annoyance suddenly crossing his face. "What are you talking about?"

"You were telling another one of your stupid jokes and then you..." Keith's voice trailed off as he realized he didn't know how to describe what he'd just seen. "You were...weird."

"You're going to have to be more specific," Lance said. His voice was no longer slurred, his posture no longer awkwardly limp.

"Are you eating?" Keith asked suddenly. Maybe that's what was wrong. The lions had a decent store of emergency rations, but they were never meant to last more than a couple of weeks at most. Keith had been supplementing his own stores with edibles he'd been able to find on habitable planets in his vicinity. Maybe Lance hadn't had that option, maybe he was running out of rations and his blood sugar was low, that would explain his odd behavior. It had to.

"Not eating?" Lance sounded offended. He touched a hand to his chest, "Keith, do I look like a person who would forget to eat?"

Lance was definitely back to some semblance of normal. It almost seemed ridiculous to Keith to think that a few moments ago he'd been slumped and unresponsive.

"You look like a person who'd forget their own name, so," Keith responded, mind running on his usual autopilot as he tried to quiet the unease stirring in his mind. The words earned him an offended yelp and a glare.

"Rude!" Lance crossed his arms, slumping back in his seat. "I don't think I want to talk to you anymore. You're like, the least nicest person I know. And I know many people."

“Fine, whatever.” Keith said, the disquiet getting beaten down by the rise of annoyance. “Go be alone then. I was going to head planetside anyways.”

“Well then you should go,” Lance grumbled. At least he wasn’t flying off the handle like the day before. Keith kept the feed up, however - he couldn’t quite fight off the unease, he wanted to watch Lance just a bit longer, make sure everything was alright.

“I thought you said you had to go?”

“...you didn’t finish the joke, idiot....”

 

-

 

“Do you…” Lance was in a bad way again, visibly shaken by something. “Do you ever feel like…”

“Like what?” Keith felt like he was balancing on a knife’s edge, a chasm on each side. He'd never felt as drained as he did right then, he had no energy left. He was a mental rag doll.

“Nothing.” Lance shook his head, his voice dropping. He was shaking, one of his legs bouncing nervously. “Nothing.”

“Like what?” Keith repeated, his weariness and unease giving his words an unnecessary edge.

“Like _nothing_ , okay?” Lance snapped.

For a moment they sat there in silence, Keith feeling far too still and Lance looking far too animated. The dichotomy was almost ridiculous.

“...like you’re not alone.” Keith breathed it carefully, quietly, as if by speaking the words they might come true.

Lance laughed, harshly. Keith wanted to tell him to stop, to tell him to call down, to…. to... he didn’t know what. He bit his lip instead, gripped the armrests in a desperate effort to remain calm as Lance’s laughter fading in choked sobs.

“They’re… they’re gonna get us soon,” Lance said finally, a statement. His voice wobbled but he'd finally managed to stop shuddering.

“Have you heard from the castle?” Keith asked, unable to keep his voice from cracking. Lance shook his head slowly, his eyes flickering to the side as he focused on something outside his lion.

“I’m… I’m sure it won’t be long now…”

 

-

Keith started out of a dream, slamming his head painfully against the back of his seat. He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but he must’ve, and at the controls no less. He couldn't remember the dream either, though it had left him with a bad taste in his mouth and a dull ache at his temples. A horrid sense of unease was coiling within the pit of his stomach, thick and heavy. He shuddered, fighting down the feeling that something was going horribly and unexplainably wrong.

Everything is fine, he forced himself to think. Everyone is fine.

Hoping to settle the unease that seeped through his mind, to prove to himself that things were okay, he opened a connection to Lance.

The screen flashed several times, and then cut out.

That had never happened before; either Lance answered, or it just kept calling. He tried again, and again the screen flashed - this time for longer intervals, and he could make  out the image of the blue lion’s cockpit, bathed in a ghastly red light, before it cut out. Disturbed, he called again. The connection opened immediately, the empty cockpit painted in glaring bright detail, no longer red but somehow devoid of color this time, accompanied by a shrill burst of white noise that nearly jolted him out of his seat. Shadowy figures seemed to fade in and out of existence against the backdrop of the cockpit, flickering between solid and see through.

The call cut out again after a moment, leaving him in deafening silence, and this time he didn’t call back. He could barely control his panicked, shallow breaths, the blood pounding viciously in his ears. He couldn’t understand what he was seeing - maybe it was a glitch or something, maybe the connection was being scrambled somehow.

Slowly, he reached out and sent the call again, eyeing the blinking indicator warily.

The screen cut in, and this time Lance was there, seated and chewing on a length of ration jerky. He didn’t have his helmet on this time, looking somewhat disheveled but entirely calm as he grinned.

“Hey Keith, what’s up?”

“Wh...where were you?” Keith stammered, heart still hammering in his chest. Lance’s grin turned questioning, and he pointed to himself as if asking for Keith to specify.

“Yes you! Where were you!”

‘Uh, right here?” Lance answered, biting off a piece of jerky and chewing while giving Keith a curious look.

“No, no you weren’t.” Keith gripped the armrests of his chair. “I just called and you weren’t there.”

“You called?” Lance asked.

“Yes.”

“Like, right before this?” Lance’s expression turned skeptical.

“Yes, like… three times.” Keith snapped, nerves frayed too far for him to be civil. “And you weren’t there!”

Lance leaned away from the screen, as if he could feel Keith’s anger radiating through it.

“Are you sure you called _me_?” Lance asked, raising an eyebrow.

“YES I’M SURE.” Keith said, “I called, and you answered. Or, or something answered, I mean… the video feed cut in but you weren’t… you weren’t there, it was just the cockpit.”

“Right, okay.” Lance said evenly. He put the jerky down and leaned towards the screen a little. “Keith, I’ve been here this entire time. At least for the last two hours - I’ve been trying to get Blue to get the chords for this one song right, see?”

Lance tapped at his console, and a second feed popped up on Keith’s screen, an activity log with action descriptions and time stamps, all showing that Lance was working at his console for a couple of hours at least. Keith stared at it in puzzled shock.

“But… I just tried calling you…” He breathed, turning to look back at Lance.

“Keith, buddy,” Lance was giving him a sympathetic look, one that belied the intentions behind his next words, “Are you eating?”

“Yes I’m ea- Don’t!” Keith snapped. Lance was struggling mighty hard not to start laughing, and it sent Keith’s anger rocketing. “Don’t you take my moment of _sincere concern_ and use it against me!”

“Sincere conc-” Lance was unable to finish the mocking repetition due to the laughter that bubbled up. Keith was sorely tempted to cut the feed right there and then.

“All right, all right, but seriously now,” Lance tried to settle out of his laughter but amusement still showed on his face plainly. “Maybe you were… dreaming it? Or something?”

“I was awake-”

“I’m just saying-” Lance interrupted, in a patient tone that was very unlike him, “This is like, a seriously stressful situation, right? Maybe you’re just getting a little loopy.”

Keith forced himself to take a deep breath and try to settle his frazzled nerves. Lance was right, after all. The situation was getting to him, that was all. Wasn’t it just the day before that he’d been planetside and thought he heard someone calling his name? It was. It might have been.

“Okay, yeah,” Keith said shakily. “I fell asleep in the seat so… so maybe I dreamed it.”

“Nightmared it from the sounds of it.” Lance said with a frown.

“Nightmared.” Keith repeated tonelessly. “Is that even a word.”

“Of course it’s a word.” Lance frowned all the more. “Are you doubting me?”

“Yes.”

“Jerk. Don’t doubt me. My knowledge of the english language is _phenomenal_.”

Their banter was familiar, and it was somehow soothing. Unease still dogged Keith’s mind, but he was able to chalk it up to situation, blame it on his solitude and his frayed nerves.

“So, do you wanna hear what I’ve been working on?” Lance asked eagerly once he saw that Keith had settled a bit.

“No,” Keith responded out of habit, but it didn’t matter. Lance was working at the console already, snippets of synthesized cords playing as he set something up on his end.

“Alright, this is a new one so it might not be as polished as the others…”

Keith settled back, unable to even force a frown on his face. After the dream and the panic and the unfiltered terror that had flooded his system, watching Lance screech his way through another pop song sounded downright pleasant.

 

-

 

Lance was gone.

Keith had slept far too long, and far too deeply, and now Lance was gone. He’d left a video message, and Keith had it set on repeat. Lance’s voice echoed within the cockpit around him,

“Hey Keith! Are you ignoring me? That's cold man. I thought we were friends. Anyway, wanted to let you know I'm going back, like right now. Allura just got a message through and the wormholes about to open. So by the time you get this I guess I'll be _not here_.”

Lance grinned widely, a relieved and exuberant grin that stabbed Keith deep in the solar plexus each time he saw it.

“Don't worry all right. I'm sure we'll get you soon enough - oh! There it is! Gotta go now, bye, try not to go crazy all by your lonesome.”

The feed cut out, the indicator button flashing for a few seconds before the video began playing again.

“Hey Keith! Are you ignoring me?”

 

-

 

Keith was about ready to scream by the time the video connection came through. He'd had to sit through fifteen - he'd counted - fifteen failed attempts already. Finally Pidge’s familiar face popped up on his screen, wide grin on their face.

“Hi Keith,” Pidge said brightly. “Ready to get back here?”

“Yes.” Keith exhaled, relief outweighing his irritation.

“Good, because we've got your coordinates plotted and Allura is-”

“Is that Keith?” Pidge was suddenly shoved aside and Lance popped on screen, smug smirk on his face.

“Hey Keith! Guess where I am! And you aren't!”

Keith gritted his teeth. He’d been happy to see Lance for all of one second until the idiot had to ruin it. Of course.

“That's right,the castle. I beat you to it!” Lance laughed. “ _I_ beat _you_.”

“This wasn't a competition!” Keith snapped, glaring daggers.

“Well, you're right,” Lance admitted with a grin. “But if it was, _I won_.”

“If this was a competition, then Pidge won since they got back first,” Keith said evenly.

“Ha!” Pidge shoved their way back on screen triumphantly, though Lance fought them all the way. “That's right, I did.”

“But...no, I mean, I beat Kei-OW!” Lance fell back, rubbing his side where Pidge had landed a quick jab. “Why are you being mean to me?”

“Because you deserve it for interrupting me,” Pidge said. Straightening their glasses, they turned back to Keith. “Anyways, as I was saying. Allura should be opening a wormhole any minute now, so we'll be seeing you soon.”

“Great,” Keith sagged back in his seat, the tension draining from him. He hadn't realized just how tense he had been; with it gone, he felt loose limbed and weak, as if it had been the only thing keeping him upright.

“Did you get through to Keith?” Hunk’s voice sounded, and a look of annoyance crossed Pidge’s face.

“No! No more interruptions!” Pidge snapped.

“You already told him everything you had to tell him.” Lance said as Hunk appeared on-screen, blocking the others from view. He smiled happily.

“Hi Keith! How're you holding up?” Hunk was all concern, “You doing all right?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Keith said, forcing a weak grin.

“He's not fine, look at him, he's all twitchy.” Lance whispered loud enough for Keith to hear, peeking over Hunk’s shoulder.

“You were more twitchy.” Pidge responded.

“I was _not_.”

“You were too.”

Apparently things at the castle were back to normal. Keith wasn't even shocked at himself for longing for it - even the annoyances that had bothered him before seemed sweetly nostalgic now. It was painfully obvious he’d been on his own for way too long again.

“Listen, I'm making a huge ‘everyone's back together’ meal so you better be hungry,” Hunk said, ignoring the whispered argument going on behind his back. “There’s this planet nearby that has actual animals on it. Meat animals. That are edible. I’m really excited I think I can make short ribs, this is gonna be great.”

“If you're the one cooking it, I'll eat anything,” Keith answered with a chuckle. Food, food that wasn't jerkied or freeze dried or won from the clutches of a ravenous plant beast, sounded amazing right then.

“Oh there’s something flashing here, what is this?” Hunk said, looking down. “Oh! It’s Allura! I think she’s opening the wormhole now Keith!”

“Uh, yeah, I think I see it,” Keith answered, looking past the video displayed on his screen. There was a shimmer blossoming in the dark space beyond, and as he watched it spread in crackles like jagged lightning to form a portal. A rush of adrenaline hit him, energizing him, and he grinned widely. “All right, I’m coming in!”  
The video cut out, and he launched the lion directly towards the wormhole, thrusters blasting as high as he could get them to go without damaging them more. Red roared, she felt as eager as he was to get back. It was the strongest he'd felt her presence since they'd been separated, as if the isolation had gotten to her as well, but now she was awake again with the excitement of homecoming.

 

The jump was somewhat anticlimactic after the weeks of isolation, short and uneventful. Seeing the castle floating serenely above a softly glowing planet was almost odd, in a way. After so long, it was as if Keith was seeing it for the first time. Odd or not, he was desperately glad to be back, and his lion agreed, blasting to the castle and settling down in her bay with almost no direction from him. He breathed, and heaved himself up out of his seat. For all the adrenaline that pulsed through him with the excitement, he still felt horribly wearied and heavy. Red murmured happily, dropping the ramp, and he headed down slowly. He felt something like shaky and something like energized, like when you’ve run to your limit and then run past the next limit and all your limbs are shaking but you have to keep moving or you know you’ll collapse.

And well, maybe he’d done all of that these past few weeks, not physically but mentally.

“Welcome back.”

Relief flooded Keith as Shiro’s words reached him, and he returned the older man’s warm grin with one of his own.

“Thanks,” He said, tugging his helmet off and heading towards the open bay doors where Shiro stood waiting.

“How are you holding up?” Shiro asked, and though the grin stayed warm his eyes held concern. Of course Shiro would continue worrying over everyone and everything until he could get them back under his wing.

“I’m fine,” Keith said with a snort, and cocking an eyebrow continued, “I lived in a shack in the literal desert for like, a year.”

“True,” Shiro nodded, “Granted, that was a desert on earth with a supermarket a thirty minute motorbike ride away and not a barely charted, unpopulated solar system with a planet full of carnivorous plants but… I see your point.”

“You’re going to have to tone down the whole ‘big brother’ thing eventually,” Keith said, and Shiro laughed.

“Not for a long time,” He said, and clapped Keith’s shoulder. “Come on, Hunk’s dinner extravaganza is going to have to wait until tomorrow, but he put something together for you all the same.”  


-

 

“Keith.”

 

“Keeeith.”

 

“Keeeeeiiitth are you sleeping?”

 

Keith rolled over with a groan as he realized that he was not, in fact, dreaming of Lance saying his name. Cracking his eyes open, he stared resolutely up at the dark ceiling in the hopes that if he ignored the voice, it would go away and let him go back to sleep.

“Did I wake you up?”

Keith turned his head finally. In the dark Lance’s face was all shades of gray and dark lines, even the blue of his eyes dimmed to a murky gray. He grinned sheepishly, huddled by the edge of Keith’s bed. “Sorry.”

“No you're not,” Keith said tonelessly, “What do you want?”

For a moment Lance looked indecisive, his fingers creasing the covers where he'd rested his hands on the edge of the bed.

“Can I talk to you about something?” He said, lifting a hand to scratch idly at his neck.

“Sure,” Keith grumbled. A moment later his sleepiness turned into shock when he realized that Lance was climbing onto the bed. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I'm doing?” Lance replied casually, tucking under the covers only inches away from Keith. Keith had frozen by that point, brain backfiring as he tried to make sense of the situation. Were they that familiar with each other? When had they gotten that familiar? When had he ever done anything to make it seem that he wouldn't mind Lance casually climbing into his bed?

Well, it wasn't that he _minded_ but this was not a situation his middle-of-the-night sleep muddled brain was prepared to process.

“Getting in my bed.” Delayed response; by that time Lance was already _in_ his bed. “Why are you getting in my bed?”

“Because your room is _freezing_ -”

“No it's fine, you're just a baby-”

“I think I got frostbite just from standing on the floor.”

“Shut up,” Keith was in no mood for Lances dramatics, not when Lance was pulling the covers half off of him and laying his head so that his face was only inches from his own. “What did you want to talk about?”

Lance shifted on the bed, laying on his side and tucking one arm under his head. Keith debated giving him one of his pillows for all of one second before dismissing the thought. He should've brought his own pillow if he was planning on invading other’s people’s beds and personal spaces.

“I don't know.”

Keith resisted the urge to shove the guy off of his bed and settled on glaring at him instead.

“I mean, it's just…” Lance sighed deeply, tracing circles on the mattress with his free hand. “Did you see anything weird? Out there?”

Keith considered for a moment.

“The planet I was near had carnivorous plants that could chase you,” He offered wearily. It was the weirdest thing he could think of at the moment.

“Weird.” Lance confirmed. “And terrifying. How are you gonna trust plants after that?”

Keith shrugged, and they lay there in awkward silence a moment.

“What about you?” Keith asked eventually. Lance sort of shrugged noncommittally, as if he wasn’t entirely certain himself.

“Well, I had to hide out on this one planet for a couple days.” He said after a moment, shifting restlessly on the bed, “And there were ruins, like of this huge city. Okay, maybe not falling down ruins, but they were old. And the whole city was totally empty. I mean, there weren't even bugs or any creatures. It was just really empty.”

“I guess that's weird.” Keith said, though he figured that there were any number of ruins in the galaxy much like those.

“No, that wasn't weird.” Lance said dismissively. “What was weird was that there was still food around. In.. I guess they might have refrigerators once? They didn't work anymore, but the food seemed absolutely fine. It wasn't rotten or anything.”

“Did you eat it?”

“You think I'm crazy enough to try eating something that questionable?”

“You considered it.”

“I considered it.” Lance admitted. “But I didn't. It was super creepy, and the whole place gave me chills. Once I saw that food I turned around and headed back to Blue, and didn't go back.”

“...maybe they had some crazy good futuristic preservatives?” Keith offered.

“...maybe…” Lance muttered, though he didn’t sound convinced. After a moment he added, almost as an afterthought, “I couldn’t find it.”

“Find what?” Keith asked, beginning to feel the shock wear off and sleep steal up on him again.

“The planet.” Lance yawned, “I took the coordinates down and stuff but… When I got back we tried to look it up and there was nothing there.”

“No planet?”

“Nothing. No planet, no sun, no solar system, just… empty space.”

“Did you take the coordinates down right?” Keith asked.

“I thought I did,” Lance said with a sigh. “I don’t know. I probably messed them up somehow…”

They lay in silence again, less awkward this time if only because Keith was drifting off.

“Sorry,” Lance whispered, and it wasn’t until Keith opened his eyes that he realized he’d been halfway asleep. “Shouldn't have woken you up, you just got back…”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Keith grumbled.

“I’m gonna go.”

“You don’t have to.” Keith didn’t realize he’d said the words until a moment had passed, his brain a half-step behind his mouth. Practically feeling Lance’s surprise, he hurried to tack on something, anything, that made sense, “I… I mean, I get it, being alone so long and like… space, space was dark and like, so big and it’s still kind of weird being alone in the dark, right?”

“N-no, I’m cool.” Lance said with a small laugh. “Totally fine, no problems here.”

Keith frowned, unable to believe that he’d floundered through a half-assed attempt to be sympathetic and Lance was pulling his typical stuff again.

“Fine.” He snapped, “Go.”

“I can’t.” Lance said with a sigh, settling into a more comfortable position.

“You just said you were gonna go.”

“But I can’t go now,” Lance said, the shadow of laughter in his tone. “Leave you all alone in the dark? You’re gonna be too scared to sleep. Someone’s got to keep you company.”

It took all of Keith’s restraint, bolstered by the weight of drowsiness, to keep from kicking Lance repeatedly until he vacated the bed .

“What makes you think I’d want _you_ keeping me company?” Keith grumbled, thankful for the darkness because his sleep-addled mind had just gone places he really, really did not need it going right then.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Lance said sleepily, “Besides, I just got comfortable. Don’t feel like moving.”

Maybe, maybe, he should kick Lance out, keep him from getting any further bright ideas in the future - ideas that involved sneaking into his room in the middle of the night cycle and climbing into his bed like it was something like normal - but Keith couldn’t do it. If he couldn’t admit it to himself during the day cycle, with everyone around him, he could admit it to himself right then - the dark was oppressive, the loneliness still daunting, and having someone near was a bigger relief than he’d anticipated.

 

-

 

Keith winced as he lifted his arm, the sharp pain in his shoulder intensifying. Great, he hadn’t been back a week and he was already injuring himself. He shouldn’t have gone to level 5 in training, he knew he hadn’t been ready for it. The adrenaline had been in his blood, however - he’d felt like he could take on the entire Galra empire and come out victorious.

Instead, he’d gone one round with the sparring bot at level 5 and ended up thrown into the far wall hard enough to wrench his shoulder.

Rubbing his shoulder gingerly and trying to keep his arm as still as possible, he headed down to the med bay. Hopefully he’d get away with a treatment that didn’t need him in a medical pod. He’d never been a fan of being knocked out for medical treatments.

The lights were on in the med bay, and as he stepped inside he saw that Lance was at the nearest terminal. He didn't seem to notice that Keith had entered the room; his brow was furrowed in concentration as he leaned close to the display screen. Seeing an opportunity, Keith slipped into stealth mode, stalking quietly close with slow movements until he was just behind the oblivious brunette. Lance still didn't notice him, and slowly Keith leaned over (where had Lance found coconut scented shampoo on the ship?) and said loudly,

“What are you doing?”

Lance jerked around with a shout, and Keith just barely managed to sidestep the fist that swung towards him - Lance’s close combat skills might've needed work, but his reaction time was astonishing. He glared as Keith burst out laughing, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

“Keith! I knew it!” Lance huffed.

“You should be paying better attention to your surroundings,” Keith said, wincing as the pain in his shoulder flared again.

“I was. I knew someone came in, absolutely.” Lance said, flustered, “I knew, but I didn't react because I was too _busy_ , and you know, I didn't think - it didn't cross my mind - that the person who'd entered would've been as childish as…as that. And also, you're mean? Have I told you that? You are.”

Keith smirked; that was a long winded deflection, even for Lance.

“Right. Anyway, what's this?” Keith motioned to the scan.

“Oh. That.” Lance looked at it as if he'd forgotten it was there. “So, that is a scan.”

Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Of me. Because, well…” Lance took a deep breath. “See, ever since I got back I've had this _itch_ and…”

“Woah.” Keith held up a hand. “Stop. Pretty sure I don't want to know.”

“It's...it's not like that!” Lance objected, his cheeks darkening. Keith snickered, which only made Lance’s blush deepen.

“Its… Its an all over sort of thing…” He muttered, rubbing his forearm fitfully. Keith was tempted to continue harassing him, but Lance looked positively dejected.

“And? What does the scan say?” Keith asked instead, glancing at the screen. The scan displayed as a full body outline in cool blue, filled with similarly-blue organs and structure and surrounded by text.

“Nothing,” Lance said with a sigh and a shrug. “It says I'm clean.”

That was a relief. Keith had been starting to worry about contagious alien diseases.

“Maybe it's nerves.” Keith said, tapping at the console to put Lance’s scan away and prep the system for a new scan.

“Maybe…” Lance mumbled, watching as Keith stepped over the scanning pedestal.

The base of the pedestal lit up a pale blue, and Keith could feel the air around him become charged as the system scanned him. It was an uncomfortable, invasive feeling - but at least it didn’t last long.

“That’s a very angry looking red,” Lance said, looking at the display screen. Keith walked over to look at it himself. His silhouette was lit up, mostly blue except for the deep red of his right shoulder. Altean script described the injury - Pidge and Hunk had worked together to design a translator that should have automatically translated Altean into something actually readable, but ever since the wormhole disaster it only translated about half of the words reliably. Keith didn’t need a detailed list - all he needed to know was that his shoulder definitely wasn’t dislocated.

It wasn’t, which was good. The scans suggestion, however, was that he hop in a medical pod - which was not good.

“Well, in you go,” Lance said, motioning to a waiting pod.

“No,” Keith replied, eyes narrowing as he looked the scan over. There should’ve been an option for a second treatment, Coran had shown it to him once before they’d had gotten the translator running… He found it at a bottom corner: a cream to speed recovery and the recommendation to keep the limb immobilized during treatment. Easy enough, but nowhere near as quick as the healing pod. With a sigh he eyed the pod. He hated the thought of getting in it, but he hated the thought of being immobilized with an injured arm for a day or two even more.

“Aw what man, are you scared of the pod?” Lance asked with a chuckle, nudging Keith’s uninjured arm. Keith shot him a glare. “Come on, it’s not that bad. You’re in there for like, a second and it zaps you asleep, and then it just zaps you awake when it’s done. You won’t even know it happened.”

“That actually made me feel worse.” Keith muttered. Lance’s face fell, but Keith cut him off before he could say a thing, “Don’t. I”m going in. Make sure the others save me some dinner.”

“Sure thing.” Lance said cheerfully, and Keith could feel him watching as he stepped into the waiting medical pod.

 

-

 

It was another one of those nights where the darkness was oppressive, heavy and constricting. Keith sat on the bed with his back against the wall and his legs crossed, trying desperately to keep his head from spinning. For the first time since he’d returned, he'd been overcome with the feeling that he wasn't alone in the dark, and even after having turned the lights on high and scouring every corner that feeling remained, making his skin crawl and anxiety prickle at the back of his mind. He had lowered the lights after inspecting the room, hoping to doze off in the half light, but it had almost made things worse. He could see much of the room now, but so much was also in shadows, shadows that could be hiding _anything_.

He clenched his fists in his lap and looked at the door again. He didn't want to be alone, and for a moment he'd entertained the thought of going to Lance, invading his room the way the brunette invaded his. He'd stopped himself, told himself that it was unnecessary, that he could power through this, that he wasn't _weak_.

But he didn't want to be alone. The feeling was so strong it was nearly physical, an ache deep within his ribcage that he couldn't ignore.

Just as he was about to get up, his door opened and Lance slipped in. Relief flooded his frayed nerves, and he relaxed a little.

“Hey,” Lance grinned as he stepped inside, though he was surprised to see that Keith was still up. “Uh, everything okay?”

“Yes, why wouldn't it be?” Keith responded stiffly.

“Lights,” Lance pointed at the ceiling, giving Keith an odd look. “You’re looking frazzled…”

“I couldn't sleep.” Keith narrowed his eyes at the thought that even Lance could tell he was out of sorts.

“Ah.” Lance nodded sagely, “I’ll be right back.”

And just like that, he was gone again, the door sliding quietly closed behind him. Keith stared at the door, the small surge of relief draining out of him. Lance had said he'd return, however, so he stayed seated, waiting anxiously. It seemed like ages, but the door was sliding open again, and Lance slipped back in, grinning widely.

He walked over to the bed and hopped on, scooting over so that he was sitting next to Keith with his back to the wall as well, legs stretched lazily out before him.

“What’s that?” Keith asked, noticing that Lance was holding something.

“This is my music player,” Lance said with a flourish. He unravelled the headphone cords and handed one earbud to Keith. “Whenever I can't get to sleep I play some soothing tunes. Helps out me out.”

“It still works?” Keith asked, putting the earbud in his ear. He eyed the player as Lance scrolled through a list of songs.

“Hunk built a charger that runs on the crystal energy here,” Lance said, tapping a song to play. “How did he do that? I don’t know. Guys a freaking engineering juggernaut… I still owe him for that.”

The music was something mellow, but with a distinct beat that Lance tapped his fingers along to.

“This is… nice…” Keith said, honest, enjoying the soothing music. Now that Lance was there, and the soft music was in his head, the shadows in his room no longer seemed so strange. He felt himself relaxing, the tension draining out of him.

“Right?” Lance said, “It’s one of my faves.”

Keith grinned, though he was surprised to find that such a gentle and calming song was one of Lance’s favorites. It seemed a little odd… or maybe it shouldn’t. He shifted slightly, he could feel his shoulder growing warmer, and only then did he realise that when Lance sat down he sat down close enough that their arms touched. Because of the headphone cord, obviously, Keith told himself as he desperately tried to stop thinking about the contact.

Then the song changed, to something slightly faster and with lyrics. Keith didn’t understand the language, but Lance began singing along softly.  His voice was nothing like it was out there when they were lost and he was belting out pop tunes to synth cords - Keith had to look at him out of the corner of his eye to confirm that this was indeed Lance. It was, and his voice was soft and carried the melody relatively well. He wouldn’t be singing any billboard singles, but his voice was the right sort of pleasant, the kind you could listen to at… well, at times like right then, when the dark was too much and you needed something to keep you feeling safe.

Maybe that was why Keith liked Lance. Maybe because for all they bickered and argued, Lance had the odd ability to make Keith feel _safe_. Make him feel like he belonged. Which was odd, considering how insistent Lance was on the fact that they had somehow been rivals at the garrison, how he still managed to get offended when reminded of the fact that Keith barely knew him back then. Lance practically came at him fists swinging, verbally, from the moment they set foot in the Castle of Lions, and still it had somehow felt right, maybe not at first but eventually. Because Lance didn’t avoid him despite making snide remarks about his hair or his star pilot status, because Lance had his back, Lance always had something ridiculous to say when the mood went south. Everyone on the castle filled his life, but for the first time Keith realized that whatever they gave him, it was Lance who was the one who lifted the weight off his shoulders when it seemed too much to bear.

He was getting far too emotional. It must have been the juxtaposition of too many things going wrong, the darkness and his own traitorous mind and the shadows and… and then Lance showing up again, as if he had a radar that pinged whenever Keith was feeling down and an unwavering need to go find out what was wrong and make it better. Keith didn’t know how to handle it, he didn’t know how to handle sitting there, feeling Lance’s heat against his arm and hearing his voice above the music - knowing he was there and knowing suddenly just how much he meant.

And then Lance’s fingers, tapping against the covers to the beat, grazed his hand. And the spark the touch created traveled up his arm alarmingly fast, straight to his heart where that horrible infatuation dwelled. And he felt its heat growing, filling him with a tingling down to his fingers and toes.

He was getting far too emotional. He had to do something. He looked at Lance as if _he_ could help, which wasn’t the thing he should have done because all it did was make his heart beat faster. Lance was oblivious to his complete internal meltdown; his eyes were half-closed and he was bobbing his head to the beat, which was now faster and bolder because the song had changed. Keith hadn’t realized the song had changed. He hadn’t realized that Lance had a beauty mark right under his left ear, either, or that up that close he could see every single one of his eyelashes, see the creases at the corners of his mouth as he grinned slightly, see his lips…

He kissed him.

Somewhere between sitting with his back against the wall and leaning over to plant his lips on Lance’s the earbud had fallen out of his ear, and the only soundtrack to his desperate and probably awful attempt at a kiss was the deafening beating of his heart. The shock of contact was there, though, sparking through him as he registered their lips had met, that he was honest-to-god kissing Lance and it wasn’t some fantasy that he’d thought up while trying to get to sleep. He was kissing Lance.

He had _kissed_ Lance, because he was pulling back and returning to his previous position, back settling against the wall with a thump, his heart beating wildly in his chest like some panicked beast. He gripped the covers and stared down at his knees, the warmth that had engulfed him being swiftly and completely wiped away by the chill of realizing _what he had done_. He waited, stiff-backed and somewhat on the verge of making a noise that might have been humanly impossible.

“That…” Lance’s voice sounded strained. He cleared his throat. “That was… you… you kissed me?”

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, bracing himself for what was to come so hard he could feel his shoulders shaking.

“You… do you _like_ me?”

A beat, Keith couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.

“...yeah.”

“Oh.” Lance’s response was more of a breath than a word, a sigh. An exhale. Keith bit his lip, unwilling to look up, terrified of what he’d see if he did. The silence stretched on, overwhelming, and he was suddenly so very, very alone again.

Then, in the periphery of his vision he saw Lance’s hand move. He glanced over warily to see that Lance had picked up the fallen earbud. Holding it, Lance angled his hand directly into his line of vision.

“This next song’s really good.” Lance said softly. Keith chanced a look at him; he didn’t look angry, at least. Keith wasn’t sure what the look on Lance’s face was, actually, but Lance was grinning a bit, and that was okay. It had to be okay.

He took the earbud, his fingers grazing Lance’s, then placed the earbud back in his ear. Letting his hand fall to the covers, he closed his eyes and willed himself away, away from the horrible mistake he’d just made, away into a world where the only thing existed was the music he was hearing. He almost made it, but then he felt a touch on the back of his hand. He opened his eyes a sliver in time to see Lance lay his hand on the back of his, fingers curling around his own. His heart stumbled over a beat, and his hand suddenly felt hot where Lance’s hand touched it. Lance had started singing along with the song again, softly. Drawing a shaky breath, Keith closed his eyes again and, just for a moment, dared to hope.

 

-

 

Lance continued coming back, although he never brought up the kiss. Keith refused to be the one to bring it up, figured that Lance had decided to let it slide. That was fine by him, he didn’t want that awkwardness, didn’t want to have to navigate feelings that seemed so foreign. He preferred to have what they had, a familiar bickering, a friendly rivalry, rather than risk it all by trying to make sense of things. He’d deny his infatuation, he’d deny almost anything if it meant that Lance wouldn’t hate him. He didn’t dare hope for more than that.

No, that was a lie - he hoped for more, but only in the deepest dark of night, when he’d wake up because Lance would be shifting in his sleep, when he’d lay still and quiet and wait to see if he would end up closer to him than farther. Sometimes Lance’s hand would touch his back, _sometimes_ Lance’s arm would rest on his side - and he hoped then, for a fervent, desperate second, before falling back asleep once more.

 

-

“Let’s make the most of this attack.” Shiro said with a tired grin. He glanced away from the hologram of the mining asteroid to look at them where they stood gathered around the control room. “This is a good chance to strike a blow at the Galra empire.”

Keith would have preferred to spend the day in bed - an idea that outright shocked him when he had it that morning. He’d woken up after Lance had left the night before, shaking and covered in cold sweat. The rest of the night cycle he’d spent tossing and turning, unable to sleep longer than a few minutes at a time. He wasn’t one to get sick often, and the sudden onset of strange symptoms had worried him enough that his first stop after waking was the med bay. The scan was clean, other than noting that he had a slightly raised temperature. He didn’t feel sick, technically, just a little hot and tired after the sleepless night. It wasn’t bad enough to make him actually want to sit the mission out, however, so he sucked it up. If they were going to be ruining the Galra empire’s day, he wanted to be part of it.

“This mining operation is almost exclusively run by robotic sentries,” Allura said, and points on the asteroid lit up. “It is well within Galra controlled territory, and there are few Galra ships stationed on the asteroid itself. We won’t have much time, but you should be able to get in, disable the core base and the mining operation, and return through the warphole to the castle before the closest Galra battleships arrive.”

“So we bash and run? Sounds fun.” Lance said, punching a fist into his hand, “I call dibs on the big tower thingy in the middle.”  
“You can’t call dibs on destroying things.” Keith rolled his eyes.

“I just did.” Lance said with a cheeky grin. “Tower thingy. Mine. I’m gonna blow it up.”  
“Okay, besides the blowing up part, because that sounds great and all,” Hunk interjected, “Are we sure there’s no people on there? Like, not-Galra people?”

“The records don’t show any workers being moved to the asteroid.” Pidge said, “I mean there’s always a possibility but I think in this case it’s relatively miniscule.”  
“Okay, just making sure.” Hunk said with relief. “Don’t want us going in there, blowing everything up, and just leaving people all helpless. So that’s good to know.”

“All right, let’s get suited up.” Shiro said, doing his best to sound cheerful. Keith wasn’t won over by the attempt; he’d been finding Shiro off on his own often the past couple of weeks. Sometimes on the training deck, not actually training but just sitting or standing with a far away look on his face. Sometimes in some rarely used corridor, looking lost in thought. Keith had rarely approached, unsure if he should, but he’d noticed how quiet Shiro had become since they’d returned. He put on a brave front when with the others, but Keith had seen him during those solitary moments. He’d looked lost.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” Keith said softly as he walked up next to Shiro on the way back to their rooms. Shiro looked surprised a moment - Keith wasn’t the one usually doling out such encouragement - but then he grinned, seemed to relax.

“Thanks Keith.” He said, giving him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder before heading off.

Keith watched him go a moment before turning to his own room. They’d be heading out in half an hour, and he went through the motions of getting ready. Bathroom, get his suit on, get out to Red - this time he wasn’t one of the first in his lion. Pidge and Lance were already arguing over something paltry on the paladin channel, though he tuned them out and checked out Red’s systems instead. Pidge and Hunk had been helping him get Red back into good working order, with Coran and Allura’s assistance when necessary. By the looks of it, Red was back in good shape, and Keith could feel her eagerness leaking into him. She was ready to get back into space, out of the bay she was cooped up in, to get back into action.

“Let’s go.” Keith said, and Red roared in reply.

  


The attack went surprisingly smoothly, until a Galra battleship appeared out of nowhere and started blasting away at them. They’d been ready to head back, and caught off guard they had to fall in a hastily arranged defensive position to meet the incoming fighters. Several squadrons of Galran ships pierced through their defensive line, effectively separating and scattering them.

“What are we doing?” Hunk called, “Are we forming Voltron?”

“We’ll need to get closer together to do that.” Shiro had just blasted through several ships, and caught another in his lion's mouth, crushing it. With a well executed spin, he launched the wreckage directly towards the main battleship. A couple of Galran fighters peeled off the main attack to direct their fire at the wreckage, destroying it before it could damage the ship. “Let’s regroup behind the asteroid, it'll give us some cover.”

Keith gritted his teeth, uninclined to follow orders - even though he knew forming Voltron was their best bet in the situation. Still, there were dozens of fighters before him, and Red was growling in his mind. He felt hot, maybe his fever was rising, but it was giving him a strange clarity. He could see every fighter distinctly, they all almost moved in slow motion before him. He could see where they were, he could see where they would be, he could take them out - _he knew it_. The weeks of pent up frustration were bubbling up, prickling his skin, his body shuddering under the weight of it.

It was the Galra that had separated them, the Galra that were causing all the problems - with a cry he dashed out at the ship's before him, shooting down one after the other with impeccable aim. Red roared, released a gout of superheated plasma to melt another group of fighters. She wanted more, and Keith wanted to give it to her - but in his periphery he could see the other lions streaking back towards the asteroid for cover. Difficult as it was, he forced himself back into control, and turned a reluctant Red to follow.

A volley of shots followed them, and as Keith dodged around the edge of the asteroid he saw both Green and Blue get blasted out of their trajectory. Hunk came racing along the edge, his lion blasting away at the incoming ships.

“Pidge, Lance, please tell me you're okay!” Hunk called over the group channel. Pidge’s face reappeared, they looked pissed but otherwise all right. It took a moment longer for Lance to cut in but he did, looking no worse off.

“I'm good,” Pidge said, aiming the Green lion back towards where the others were grouped.

“Come on Hunk, we've taken worse hits than that,” Lance grinned, the Blue lion heading back towards them as well. Despite Lance’s easy tone, Keith felt a prickle cross his skin. Something was off, he couldn't tell what… but before he could focus his thoughts the video feed cut out.

Frowning in annoyance, he reopened the group connection. It flickered, cut out again, and he began to feel the ghost of worry rising in his gut. Dropping the group connection, he sent out private calls to the other paladins.

“Keith? You there?” Shiro’s feed opened immediately.

“Yeah, I got you.”

“I've got Pidge too, trying to get the others back on.”

Above head a group of Galra fighters flew over the ridge. Keith rocketed over to meet them, blasters blazing.

“How are we supposed to form Voltron if we can't communicate with each other?” Keith growled in frustration.

“We can't.” Shiro said with finality. “We're going to free up some space and head back, Pidge is talking to Allura now to open the wormhole. Keep trying to get through to Lance and Hunk, so will I.”

“All right.” Keith dodged a fighter and headed back towards the asteroid’s surface. He could see Shiro heading for Yellow, so he took a look around to find Blue. At first glance she was nowhere to be found, and his unease spiked. He headed down along the length of the asteroid, cursing under his breath, until a gleam of blue and silver caught his eye. Turning sharply, he headed for the asteroid’s surface.

Blue was tucked into a crevice, belly low against the ground, unmoving. Keith set Red down nearby and sent out a call to Blue. The indicator flashed for several seconds, then went dark. He tried again, and again, until the connection finally opened on his fifth try.

“Lance! What's going on?”

“What?” Lance looked shaken, eyes widened and breath coming fast. He avoided looking at the screen, his eyes flitting around the cockpit, “What's going on?”

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, trying to keep his voice from raising. He hadn't seen Lance like this since when they were separated.

“I'm okay.” Lance affirmed, but Keith could see his hands shaking on the controls. “I'm….I'm okay. I'm fine.”

“Come on, we’re pulling back,” Keith said. He was becoming aware that he was shaking himself, tiny tremors in his hands and shoulders. Maybe going into battle with a fever hadn't been the best idea.

Lance didn't respond verbally, for a moment Keith thought Lance hadn't heard him at all, but then he nodded, and with a deep sigh pulled back on the control bars. Blue lifted onto her legs, then leapt off the asteroid, and Keith followed close behind. Galra fighters were closing in again, their blasters filling the air, and the two lions dodged and spun on their way towards the others. The telltale spread of crackling light was gathering before them, and the wormhole sprang open suddenly. Red roared, rushing forward, but Keith pulled her back slightly to let the others reach the wormhole first. Only after he was certain the others had made it did he hit the thrusters to max and follow through himself.

 

 

Back in the bay, Keith settled Red down and hurried out into the hallway. Blue’s bay was down the hallway to his left, and he tugged his helmet off as he headed there. Worry clouded his mind, he could still feel himself shaking, overheated - he needed to check on Lance. Something had happened. He needed to make sure Lance was okay.

In the bay, Blue lay prone on the floor. Her front paws were splayed slightly, and her head rested in the floor, mouth open a crack. It looked like she had slid into the bay rather than landed. Keith glanced around the bay, was Lance still inside? Would he need to crawl up in Blue’s mouth to find him?

A sound reached him, something like a whisper, and he spun to his left to find Lance huddled back up against the bay wall, knees pulled up and hands clutching at his helmet.

“Lance?” Keith hurried over and crouched down beside him. Lance’s shoulders shook, his fingers clutching tightly against the helmet’s sides, and Keith could hear him muttering the same phrase over and over,

“Get out get out get out get out….”

“Lance, hey,” Keith touched his shoulder, but got no response. Gently, he reached up to pry Lance’s fingers off of his helmet.

“No!” Lance jerked back, but he had nowhere to go with his back against the wall, “No no no…”

“Lance, it's me!” Desperately, he pulled Lance’s hands down, “It’s Keith.”

“Keith?” Lance asked, voice hoarse. He looked up at Keith almost in disbelief, “Where...where am I?’

“Y-you're back in the castle.” Keith stammered. Lance looked around hesitantly, but he relaxed a fraction as he took in the familiar surroundings.

“I made it back.” He choked out, shuddering. Weakly he pulled his helmet off and dropped it to the floor, ran his fingers through his hair over and over. Sobs shook him, and his movements became frenzied, almost vicious, as if he were trying to dig his fingers into his scalp with each pass.

“What happened?” Keith asked, reaching out to grab hold of Lance’s hands again ana pull them away from his head. Lance let him, thought Keith could feel his fingers twitching in his grasp.

“I don't know.” Lance gasped. “Blue didn't… She didn't know me.”

“What?”

“She just started screaming at me all of a sudden, she wanted me _out_ , I don't know…” Lance continued, “It was in my head, this roaring this… She didn't know me, she didn't know who I was…”

“Maybe… Maybe something’s off with her programming…” Keith said. Lance nodded, but it was obvious he didn't agree. He avoided looking out at the lion on the other side of the bay.

“Keith, Lance, you two get in okay?”

Shiro’s voice sounded over the helmets intercom, causing them both to jump. Lance glanced at Keith, pleading, shook his head.

“Yeah, we’re good.” Keith answered. “Helping Lance patch up some cables that came loose.”

“All right, take care of that and then get out of those suits. We’ll have a meeting in the main break room in an hour.”

“We’ll be there.” Keith said, though he wasn’t sure how honest his statement was. Lance had dropped his face to his knees again, his shoulders were shaking almost uncontrollably and his fingers had tightened painfully around Keith’s own.

“Lance, hey…” He said gently. He shifted out of his crouch so he could sit next to Lance. Letting go of his hands, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Lance’s shaking shoulders, pulling him closer to himself. Lance whimpered, stiffening against his touch. Keith gritted his teeth to keep from… from screaming, from yelling, from releasing his frustration in some way that would definitely not help. He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand seeing Lance broken like that, couldn’t stand not knowing how to fix it.

“Hey, listen to me, it’s okay all right, we’ll figure it out, it’s gonna be fine…” He didn’t know what he was saying after a point, anything that sounded like it might help. He just wanted Lance to calm down, he just wanted Lance to know that he was safe.

After a long moment Lance relaxed, shifting so that he was actively leaning against Keith. His breath was still ragged, and it was only then that Keith realized it was because Lance had been struggling to keep in his sobs, to keep from crying out loud.

It tore him, that realization. He felt wounded, faced by Lance’s breakdown, faced by his own helplessness. He pulled Lance closer against his chest, pressed his face against his hair and hugged him a shade too tightly. If he could leech the bad feelings from him, he would, if it would only make it better.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Keith said, voice choked with emotion.

“Y...yeah.” Lance responded, voice hoarse. He shifted so he could curl an arm around Keith’s side, his breathing finally coming close to regular. They stayed like that for a long moment, Keith finally relaxing his death grip once his arms began to ache. Across from them, Blue lay silent. Keith found himself avoiding her gaze, though her eyes weren’t lit up.

“Keith?” Lance asked quietly, his whisper still sounding harsh in the silence.

“Yes?” Keith answered in a whisper as well. The bay seemed very large all of a sudden, and very oppressive. The silence was stifling.

“W...would you help me out? With something?” Lance asked, sniffling. “I just, I just wanna make sure… I just want to be sure.”

“Yeah, of course.” Keith loosened his grip to allow Lance to sit up. “Anything you want.”

“It’s gonna be quick, I promise.” Lance wiped his face with his gloved hands, avoiding Keith’s eyes as if he were ashamed. “We gotta make it to-to the meeting so.”

“Lance, it’s okay.” Keith said firmly, and Lance looked at him finally. His eyes were red, it was obvious he’d been crying, but he managed a small grin anyways.

“Thanks.”

They headed down the corridors at a brisk pace, Lance almost obsessively looking over his shoulder and peering around corners. Halfway there, Keith realized he knew where they were headed. The med bay. Lance led the way unwaveringly, heading inside as soon as he saw no one was there. Keith hung back as Lance stepped up to a terminal and started pulling up the scan screen.

“Lance? What’s wrong?” Keith ventured, coming closer.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.” Lance replied too fast, too controlled. He reached up to scratch at his neck, turning to face Keith. “I just, I just need to make sure.”

“Is it because of what happened with Blue?” Keith asked. That was the wrong thing to say, he realized how stupid it was to bring up only after the words had left his mouth. Lance’s eyes widened, the hand that had been scratching at his neck shifted upwards to grip at his hair.

“I just need to make sure!” He cried out, bordering on hysterical. Keith was reminded of that horrible, horrible moment back when they were separated, when Lance had what Keith still held as the worst meltdown he’d ever seen, and he had been too far away, too powerless to stop it. He didn’t want a repeat, he never wanted a repeat of that.

“Okay.” He said quickly, hoping his tone was soothing and not sharp. “Okay, go ahead. It’s fine.”

“Okay.” Lance repeated, taking several deep breaths. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, all right. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Keith stepped closer again, reached out to touch Lance’s arm, to take hold of the hand he’d gripped in his hair and loosen it. “Go ahead.”

Lance didn’t respond, but his breathing had slowed and he gave Keith a grateful look. The terminal had already set up the scan, and Lance stepped onto the pad gingerly, an uncertain look on his face. Several moments later the terminal was displaying his scan, a short list written out alongside. Lance hurried over, nearly knocking into Keith to look at it.

The scan was a soothing blue. The list only mentioned several abrasions and bruises that Lance no doubt got during the battle. Other than that, he was absolutely fine.

“Okay?” Keith asked hesitantly, looking over at Lance.

“Yeah…” Lance replied somewhat distantly, but after a moment he turned a shaky grin to Keith. “C...come on, we need to get going. The meeting. Shiro told us to get changed what’s he going to say if we show up like this?”

“Just tell him fixing the cables took longer than we thought,” Keith said, not bought over by Lance’s forced cheerfulness but doing his best to mimic it. “Tell him we argued too much.”

“Is it sad that he’d believe that?” Lance managed a laugh. He grabbed Keith by the elbow and steered him towards the door. “And thanks, again. I mean it.”

Keith eyed Lance a moment quietly.

“Any time.” He paused. “Unless carnivorous plant monsters are involved, then you’re on your own.”

“You do know your lion can shoot molten plasma? That can burn the plant monsters?”

-

 

The door to Keith's room opened and he paused, towel on his arm, at the bathroom door. Lance strode in as if he belonged there, already dressed for bed, and grinned at Keith.

"Hey man," He said brightly, though his grin turned sheepish as he went on, "Can I, uh, sleep with you tonight?"

Keith stared at him evenly. Lance had been sneaking into his room to sleep with him every night for the past few weeks, and NOW he was asking if he could?

"No." Keith responded, managing to keep a neutral expression on his face. The effect his single word had on Lance, however, was distressing. His expression fell into an uncertain wince, his eyes flashed with something that was horribly close to fear, and Keith felt regret stab him deep. When had Lance become so emotive? Always. Lance was always emotive, only now it was directed solely at Keith and with good reason. He’d been almost overly nice to Lance since that incident with Blue several days before, aside from their usual bickering around the others. He’d actually spent part of that very day doing nothing but keeping Lance company, because while he seemed to have returned to form for the most part, there were still moments where that awful look came into his eyes. He should’ve known better than to joke around so coldly, but when had he ever known better in situations like that. Another reason he’d never gotten too close to anyone, his terrible sense of when sarcasm was appropriate.

"I'm joking," Keith said quickly, grinning in an attempt to dissipate the suddenly heavy atmosphere.

"You're so mean," Lance breathed irritably, frowning, but he’d relaxed and there was no edge in his tone.

"I'll be right back," Keith said, entering the bathroom and leaving Lance to himself. To be completely honest, he was both dismayed and delighted that Lance had shown up. Dismayed, because it was so much easier to be relaxed with Lance laying next to him if he was already half asleep and not prone to overthinking it. Delighted, because he was now going to get to experience actually really falling asleep next to Lance. Dismayed, yet again, because even if he did like Lance, and even if there was a tiny possibility that Lance did like him back (oh that sliver of hope was alive and well), despite all that had happened their horrible habit of being god awfully annoying to each other every waking moment of the day had not abated, and he couldn’t imagine how it could be any different right then.

That night was either going to be excellent, or disastrous.

Making up his mind to stop dwelling on _what might happen_ Keith washed, up, spending maybe just a bit longer under the shower than usual. So what if he washed his hair five times? He liked being clean.

By the time he got out, Lance had made himself comfortable on the bed, stretched out on his back and taking up more space than usual. Keith frowned when he saw that - how was he supposed to tell him to move over?

“Move over.” He said, shoving Lance’s shoulder.

Lance gave him a curious look, and pointed towards the wall.

“Whatever, just make some space.” Keith said, noting that given the opportunity Lance was more than happy to the take the spot by the wall.

“That better?” Lance asked, rolling over on his side to face Keith. Keith made a noise of assent and got on the bed himself, facing Lance but careful to leave some space between them. He still felt somewhat odd about their situation - it wasn’t as if Lance was entirely opposed to getting close to him. Even after that kiss, which Keith had thought would have been a deal breaker completely, he’d find himself waking up during the night cycle with Lance huddled up against him, arms laying lazily across his chest  or waist. Lance would be gone come the morning, or what passed for it in the castle, but Keith prized those stolen moments of contact. Here, fully awake and aware however, he was unable to bridge the gap again. Lance was less than an arm’s reach away, and Keith kept his arms tucked close to his side.

“You want me to hit the lights?” Keith asked only because Lance was getting that indecisive look on his face, like he was either thinking about something way too hard or experiencing some sort of nasty indigestion. Keith hoped it was the first. If Lance let rip in his bed there would be no mercy.

“Yeah…” Lance replied finally, in a tone that meant the opposite. Keith waited a second, then reached out and tapped the switch on the headboard. The lights dimmed to darkness, and they lay in silence.

“Keith?” Lance ventured a whisper, just as Keith expected him to.

“Yeah?” Keith whispered back, despite no one being around to hear them if they spoke at a normal volume.

“Does it bother you, that I keep…” Lance paused for a long moment, and Keith finally felt the need to finish his sentence,

“...invading my personal space?”

“Yeah.”

Keith thought it would be glaringly obvious by now that he had no problem with Lance coming over every night, but apparently it wasn’t.

“I thought you’d be the one having a problem with it.” Keith admitted, curling a little further away from Lance.

“Why? Because of your cru~ush?” Lance said in a sing song voice that raised Keith’s hackles. The jab he aimed at Lance was entirely automatic at that point, but Lance only laughed. It wasn’t his usual daytime raucous laughter, but softer, and it made Keith want to reach out again - reach out and touch him, his hair or his face or…

He pulled his fist tight against himself instead.

“Shiro was like, my idol, you know.” Lance said suddenly, “I wanted to be that good.”  
What did Shiro have to do with anything? Keith floundered in his mind, trying to make sense of the track the conversation was suddenly taking.

“You were though…” Lance spoke softly. “It’s not like I wanted to fight you for first place, i mean I did but it wasn’t… I…” He sighed, “I just wanted you to notice me, I guess…”

For a moment the silence hung between them, Keith struggling to find some response.

“...well, I did…”

Keith didn’t think it was that funny, but Lance apparently did. The bed practically shook with his laughter, and Keith’s mood darkened. He was suddenly regretting so very much, _so very much_. He moved to turn around - he didn’t have it in him to kick Lance out, he felt like it would be some sort of defeat if he did - but Lance took hold of his arm before he could.

“You’re ridiculous.” His voice sounded strained, as if he choked back… what? Lifting himself on his elbows, he leaned over Keith and kissed him.

Keith had imagined this moment more times than he cared to admit, but reality was so much better. Lance’s lips on his, his body angled over him, his warmth so close and so tangible, one elbow propped up on the pillow beside him so the forearm just barely touched his cheek.

They parted, and for a moment Keith could only look up at Lance, his face still so close to his.

“...what?”

“I… guess I like the attention…”

Keith’s instincts wanted him to shove Lance off of him and get his personal space back. Despite how comfortable it was to have Lance so close, how _good_ it felt, his mind was screaming at him to get away and it was taking so much more self control than he thought he’d need to keep himself from pushing Lance away. It felt wrong, didn’t he _like_ him? Didn’t he want this? He couldn’t understand why his first impulse was always to push people away, even people he _wanted_ to be near him, but he didn’t want to give in to it right then. He didn’t want to push Lance away.

So he forced his arms up, touched his hands to Lance’s sides, then up over his back until he was holding him lightly. It was so much easier to do this sort of thing when Lance was unconscious, or severely injured, or both. He hadn’t realized how stiffly Lance had been holding himself until he felt him relax. He settled slightly against him, pressing his forehead to Keith’s and sighing softly.

“Okay.” Keith whispered after a moment. He wasn’t really sure who he said it for, himself or Lance, but it was the first thing that came out when he opened his mouth.

“Really?” Lance said with a chuckle. “That’s what you come up with?”

“What was I supposed to say?” Keith muttered. Lance shifted slightly so he was laying more comfortably across him.

“I don’t know.”

Keith tightened his arms around him, his initial reaction fading and letting him enjoy the moment.

“You’re going to have to get off me if you want to stay the night though…” He closed his eyes and tilted his head against Lance’s.

“Yeah…” Lance sighed. After a long moment, he added, “You’re going to have to let me go to do that, you know.”

“I didn’t say you had to move now…”

-

 

Keith had been sleeping, but now was wide awake in a moment, his senses on high alert. For a second the writhing on the other side of his bed had him in full fight mode, his hand tucking back under his pillow to where he hid his knife nightly. It took him a full five heart pounding seconds to remember that Lance was in bed with him, and his fight response shifted directly into concern. Lance hadn’t had nightmares since he’d been coming to his room for the night, not any bad enough to wake Keith at least, but the stress with Blue must have been too much for him.

Tapping the room’s lights on low, Keith reached out a hand to Lance’s shuddering, whimpering form and touched his shoulder. Lance reacted violently, arms flinging out wildly, and Keith just barely dodged, cursing Lance’s reflexes as he did.

“Lance! It’s me!” He managed to grab hold of Lance’s arms and keep him somewhat still, though Lance struggled a bit in his grasp. For a moment he stared up at Keith as if he didn’t recognize him, breath coming fast and eyes widened.

“Keith.” He breathed finally, not a question but a statement. He looked horribly distraught, even that realization not enough to calm him.

“Yes.” Keith affirmed, feeling Lance’s arms still shuddering in his grasp, feeling… feeling something warm and sticky beneath his palms.

“Okay.” Lance choked out and pulled his arms back, and Keith let him. “Sorry, I think… I think I was having a nightmare or something.”

Keith was trying to pay attention, but he was distracted by the streaks of red on his palms. He looked down at Lance’s arms and was horrified to see vivid, deep gouges all across his forearms, ruby red drops of blood pooling up out of them.

“What… what happened?” He asked, trying to take hold of Lance’s arms again, but the brunette pulled them back hurriedly.

“Nothing!” He snapped, voice shaking as he continued, “It’s… it’s the itching, must’ve been too much…”  
Kicking the sheets off, Lance tilted out of the bed, avoiding Keith's eyes and still holding his arms tight to himself.

“Where are you going?” Concern sharpened Keith’s tone, he’d never been too good at separating anger from frustration from concern. He grabbed at Lance’s shoulders, hoping to keep him from leaving.

“Let go!” Lance’s voice took a tone he’d never heard before, “I’m just going down to the med bay, all right?”

Taken aback by the suddenly harsh and angry edge in Lance’s voice, Keith drew back slightly. This wasn’t Lance how he knew him, and his reaction wasn’t his usual irritation - it was sharp and cutting. It was angry.

“Your shirt…” He said softly as he watched Lance get up. He couldn’t tell if the blood on his t-shirt was from his arms or from somewhere else, seeping from underneath the fabric. Lance paused and shot Keith a haunted look over his shoulder, clutching his arms even tighter against himself. Keith shifted so that he sat on the edge of the bed, desperate to reach out again, to touch Lance, to _ground_ him somehow and get that horrible terror out of his eyes.

“Do you want me to help?” He said instead, clutching fingers in the covers.

“No.” Lance shook his head, “No, I’m good. I’ll take care of it.”  
Lance took a step away, then another, glanced back one more time as if he wanted to make sure Keith wasn’t following. It took all his will power to stay rooted to the bed, but Keith didn’t, forced himself to stay still, to only sit and watch as Lance hurried out his door.

  


The next morning found Keith waiting outside Lance’s door, eyeing the hallway warily. The others were at breakfast already. Keith was usually one of the first there, he woke early most days and wasn’t one to laze around in bed for hours, unlike a certain paladin.

Hours might have been an exaggeration, but it certainly felt that way to Keith as the minutes passed agonizingly slow. He should have just headed inside instead of waiting, Lance was constantly barging into his room without permission so why couldn't he? He’d just be returning the favor. Still, he waited outside, leaning back against the wall and eyeing the hallway warily. He wasn’t sure just how much the rest of the castle knew about… whatever it was they had going on, but he wasn’t quite ready for anyone to find out.

The door opened finally, and Lance stepped out, yawning widely and running a hand through his hair. Keith narrowed his eyes, watching him closely.

“Keith?” Lance looked puzzled. Keith said nothing, only held out a hand. Rolling his eyes, Lance gave him his arm, and Keith pushed his shirt sleeve. Faint lines stood out on Lance’s skin, the only sign of the gouges from the night before.

“I got some cream from the med bay…” Lance began explaining, but Keith ignored him and reached over to tug Lance’s shirt up instead.

“Woah woah okay what… what are we doing?” Lance held up his hands helplessly, a confused grin on his face. Keith could see the same lines on his sides and stomach, but they were very faint. Whatever cream the medical station had prepared for Lance, it had worked well.

“Are you itchy now?” Keith asked, dropping Lance’s shirt and looking at him.

“Nope.” Lance shrugged. “It hasn’t really been that bad recently. I mean, other than last night.”

“It’s probably nerves.” Keith said.

“Well, it’s getting better so you’re probably right,” Lance said with a grin. He crossed his arms and tapped his hip against Keith’s. “Don’t worry so much.”

“Worry? About you?” Keith raised an eyebrow. “I’m worried about getting that blood out of my sheets.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Lance said. Keith snorted, and turned to start heading down the hallway.

“Come on, we’re going to be late for breakfast.” He said. Lance huffed loudly behind him.

“You know, I was never late to breakfast befo… before you.”

 

-

 

Keith stared at the screen in disbelief for a long moment. He’d only come in to check his knee - LEvel 5 again, because he never learned. But maybe it was fate that brought him here, horrible and hateful fate. Something had come over him as he stood at the terminal, some odd feeling to check the scan history, and he was regretting it. Almost all of the scans stored in the history were Lance’s, and there were so many. So many. Keith had thought things were better - for the past couple of weeks Lance hadn’t complained once about the itching, and Keith couldn’t remember being woken up by his tossing and turning during the night like before. He thought things were better.

But the scans were there - there were gaps where apparently Lance had erased scans but many remained, some taken multiple times a day, or night, only minutes apart. Keith could only imagine Lance, frustrated by the lack of explanation, pacing the room, sitting when it all overwhelmed him and trying to make sense of it all, jumping on and off and on the pedestal again and again. Struggling to find an explanation, struggling to figure out… what. What was he trying to figure out? What was he trying to find?

He should talk to him, Keith decided. He needed to talk to him. This was all wrong. Nothing showed on the scans, whatever Lance was looking for, it couldn’t be anything physical.

The isolation during their separation had gotten to him, Keith decided. The strain had been too much. Like Keith had thought, it was nerves, but so much worse than what he’d thought. But maybe he could help, maybe he could find a way to help Lance.

He had to talk to him.

-  


The darkness was overbearing, the silence almost as much so. Keith couldn’t sleep. He’d twisted and turned from the moment he lay down, waiting for Lance to show up, staring at the wall next to his bed and counting the beats of his heart to keep his racing thoughts somewhat under control.

Something was wrong with Lance. He’d thought about the scans, thought about what Lance had been saying over the past weeks, thought about all those strange things that had happened - and he knew it. The weight of that knowledge felt crushing.

A dozen scans a day, at least, for weeks… He couldn’t understand what would make Lance return over and over. None of the scans showed anything wrong, there was no reason for Lance to keep going back again and again. Unless he was looking for something, unless he expected something to show up, finally. Keith remembered the times he’d been with Lance in the infirmary, the intensity with which Lance had focused on the scan. If he’d done something then, could he have helped Lance somehow? Kept him from getting so… so obsessed?

The thought ate away at him. He breathed and began counting his heart beats again.

Then the door slid open, and his heartbeats sped up. Keith half turned as Lance entered, crossing the room softly yet quickly.

“Sorry,” He whispered when he saw that Keith was awake. “Did I wake you up?”

“No,” Keith breathed, reaching out to wrap his arms around Lance as soon as he lay down next to him. He needed to hold him that night, needed to feel that he was tangible and real, right next to him. He could tell Lance was surprised, he could feel the way he stiffened for only a moment. Worry shot through him suddenly; sure, they’d end up wrapped up in each other’s arms over the course of the night but they’d never begun the nights that way.

Then Lance relaxed with a deep sigh, his arms sliding around Keith’s waist as he pulled close.

“I was waiting for you.” Keith felt his face flush as he realized what he’d said, how it sounded.

“Oh, really?” Lance said, and though Keith couldn’t see his smirk in the near-dark he knew it was there.

“Shut up,” Keith grumbled, pressing closer so he could lean his head against Lance’s shoulder. “Idiot.”

Lance made an indignant noise, but said nothing. He pressed his face against Keith’s neck, his breath tickling his skin. Keith wasn’t sure, but he might also have made a happy little sound, but it was so quiet...

“Hey…” Keith said, his words muffled. SHould he say anything? Should he start the conversation right then?

“Hm?” Lance shifted slightly. Keith had to say something… but he couldn’t, not right then. Right then everything was fine, Lance was fine, he was fine. They were all fine.

“Can you…” Keith said instead, turning his head so he could speak clearly, “Can you stay tonight?”

“...stay ev’ry night…” Lance muttered sleepily.  
“No I mean, the whole night,” Keith asked, his voice rising slightly as a flutter of concern rose in the pit of his stomach.

“All night,” Lance confirmed, turning his head to place a sloppy kiss on Keith’s neck. “Right here with you…”  
“Okay,” Keith breathed, only slightly flustered by how casually Lance was able to kiss him, how easily he held him in his arms. He pressed his face against Lance’s chest, heartbeat in his ear, and allowed himself to relax.

  


When he woke it was with a panicked start, breath bursting from him in a frenzied pant. The covers were stifling, the darkness alive around him.

And Lance wasn’t next to him.

Keith jolted upright, casting about the room, but even in the dark he could see that Lance was nowhere to be found.

Heart pounding, he got out of bed and headed for the door. The hallway outside was quiet, the lights had been dimmed to mimic nighttime. He considered turning them up, but his need to find Lance outweighed his need for light. Rushing through the hallway, he took a sharp right and headed towards the one place he knew he would find him - the med bay. It didn’t take long to reach it, not with him running frantically, and he could see through the clear doors that the lights were on. Pausing only a moment to calm his frenzied heart, he stepped through the doors as they slid open to admit him.

The first thing to hit him was a heavy and sickening scent of copper, so thick he could taste it on his tongue. His eyes locked on the scan displayed on the med screen - the now all-too-familiar silhouette outlined in cool blue, filled with shapes and symbols that still showed that nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong. His gaze locked on it almost desperately, even as his nose filled with that horrid scent and a quiet squelch reached his ears.

“Keith? ...sorry, I was…. I was just gonna come back…”

Stiffly, Keith dragged his eyes away from the scan and turned towards Lance’s voice, his breath shuddering fitfully.

“I just… i just figured out how though… how to get them…”

Lance chuckled, though it sounded strangled in his throat. His eyes were glassy when they met Keith’s, his tan skin gone horribly pale. He motioned with the bloody knife he held in his hand down at the mess between his legs and continued in a loud whisper, “I figured it out…”

Keith’s stomach turned, his knees began shaking uncontrollably. Lance’s blood had already spread a foot out from where he sat with his back against the wall, a horrible deep red against the pale floor. Lance had taken his shirt off for better access to his abdomen, and his chest was streaked with blood and bits of… Keith’s brain hiccuped on that, refused to let the words come. His eyes wouldn’t turn away, however, and he couldn’t keep himself from seeing -

Seeing the cold glint of the lights on more lengths of intestine than he could imagine fitting inside a human; the deep brownish red of the liver laid out across Lance’s right thigh, leaching blood into the fabric of his boxers; the blood streaked stomach, pulsing oddly, still hanging within the cavity Lance had carved out in himself.

Keith raised his hands to cover his mouth, feeling the bile rising. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, to cry or to throw up. Tears wet his cheeks, his breath rushed harsh as his mind tried to process what he was seeing.

He needed to help Lance, that was what he had to do, he needed to help Lance, oh god if he could get him… if he could get him into a pod, maybe, there was still a chance. He just needed to get Lance into a pod, he just-

“I figured them out I… I figured out…” Lance continued. He dropped the knife, and hands shaking he reached down to  grope among the length of intestine. “See th-they think… they can h-h-hide but I figured them out… Just gotta… gotta cut them out, see, cut… cut them out, and everything’s gonna be fine… everything’s… everything’s fine…”

Lance’s fingers clutched at something within the mess, the sound of the coils of intestines slipping over each other sickening.

Keith realized he was sobbing into his hands only because he found it difficult to breathe. He should be grabbing Lance, he should be dragging him into a pod, _he should be saving him_ , but all he could do was watch, frozen in place, as Lance pantomimed pulling something off of his own organs.

Only… there was something there, a thin string that glistened with his blood, stretching from his shaking fingers down to the edge of his intestine. It was as if Keith’s vision shifted, as if he suddenly had glasses on and could see clearly - he could see it clearly, the glistening tubular body covered in blood, and as he watched it detached from the intestines and began to writhe in the air, curling over and over itself.

“Got you.” Lance whispered, breath wheezing. Keith fell to his knees, body shaking, because suddenly he was so very aware of _them_. They were everywhere, writhing within the pool of blood, crawling across the surface of Lance’s intestines, crystal clear and yet so very much alive. It was these parasitic creatures pulsing around his stomach, not the organ, covering it and writhing across its surface.

Keith could only watch with a terror that was freezing him, shocking all thoughts of of his head, as the near-invisible worms crawled out of Lance’s body, an undulating mass twisting their way across organs and skin and blood.

He needed to get help, he needed to get away, he needed…

An itch was beginning, right below his right ear, sharp and incessant.

“Everything’s gonna be fine again…” Lance breathed in a sing song voice, laying the writhing worm aside slowly.

Keith sobbed openly now, scratching desperately at the itch, feeling it spread down his neck.

The worms continued to writhe.

Lance coughed, his torn body shaking horribly.

And somewhere, within the skin of his stomach, Keith could feel something begin to stir.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like horror in your Voltron? Want more of it? Keep an eye out on my [writing tumblr](https://hollowrites.tumblr.com) for updates on my pet project, the Voltron Horror Collection!


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